October 01, 1995

Today we pause to remember the elderly people in our families, our neighborhoods, our Church and our country. Our nation is a nation of young people, and since Western culture in modern times in so many ways “worships” the young ones, we tend to more and more to take up attitudes which tend to shunt older people — the “young once” — aside. Yet, with longer life expectancy, with better health care and the readier availability of other community services, we see more and more older men and women in our cities and countryside. Today let us reflect on the “elderly in our midst” so that we may honor them and cherish them more. Let us ask ourselves especially what their role and their mission are, in the Church of our time.

THE ELDERLY AMONG US

From the perspective of human culture, of the Gospel and of faith, we believe that old age is an age which holds within it rich human values. The wealth of experience which advancing years have accumulated helps the aged “to see life steadily and to see it whole.” It leads to a precious wisdom which evaluates human life and human events with seriousness and depth, teaches tolerance and patience in human relationships, and opens the eyes of the spirit to the dimensions of eternity. It invites the elderly to seek God and life eternal with prayer-fulness and longing.

Surely people with such rich spiritual potential should be esteemed and should be helped to recognize these values and develop them in their lives, to find a growing serenity and peace within themselves, and learn to entrust themselves wholeheartedly to Our Lord, who said, “Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest” (Mt 11:28).

GRANDPARENTING

But I want to reflect especially on the contribution that the old and the aging can make to the human communities in which they live, and to the Church. If you will allow me, I wish to reflect especially on what grandparents can give to their families, the human and Christian richness they can share with them.

In many families among us, for various reasons, grandparents are called to do much “parenting.” They are called on to assume tasks and responsibilities involved in the day-to-day formation, education, discipline and even the recreation of children. In so many families, we know that grandparents are not a burden or a luxury, but a great blessing — specially when one or both parents work all day, or are employed abroad, or are unable to spend much time with their offspring. Grandparents often hold the key to the mental, effective and emotional growth of little ones. “Grandparenting” has a renewed meaning and function in our families and in society today, and we should esteem, encourage and foster it. Grandparents so often are like living bridges between generations, “family lifelines” which help bind families together in so many aspects of human life which really matter to all of us.

By their example, by just being what they are and embodying the right values and priorities of faith and humanness to those around them, grandparents can teach so much, especially to children. The sincerity of their prayer and religious practice impress the young and remain marked in their memories and their hearts. Grandparents so often affirm and build up the little ones, and their parents as well, by the unfeigned affection and love that they show them. Loving is a great force in all our lives, and grandparents simply by showing so much genuine love can give to those whom they cherish enduring, never-to-be-forgotten gift. Grandfathers and grandmothers can instruct by their story-telling, by preserving the rituals and customs of the family and the Church, by their gentle thoughtfulness and simple generosity. Their listening and their caring concern can be like pillars in the home, and even in the neighborhood. Lolas and Lolos, paying attention to and praying for those who come to them, can provide so much support and counteract the coldness and hard-heartedness we all so often meet in wider society. Their courage in spite of infirmities, sickness and poverty can inspire those who struggle in life also to be brave and true, before God and man.

We are not saying that all grandparents are models of goodness and virtue, but they can strive to be members of families and communities who truly make a valuable contribution to the lives of those around them. They should realize that they can “give gifts,” precious gifts, to those who surround them. Thus they can have an authentic sense of their own value as persons who have learned and gathered much from life and can give much, in turn, to others. Instead of growing bitter, or becoming morose, or isolating themselves, they can be givers with generous hearts and open hands.

LOLOS, LOLAS AND CHRISTIAN LIVING

Especially in the areas of Christian living, lolos and lolas can contribute so greatly. They can bless children not as meaningless gesture, but from the heart, and with prayer. While not speaking much — for the elderly can be over-talkative! — they can share their wisdom and counsel. For the children and the young, their hugs and gestures of affection can reveal God’s ever-present, forgiving and unconditional love. They can show meaning and value of religious faith and fidelity especially in times of trial. They can be shining models of Christian hope, restoring it to the young in the midst of disappointment, renewing calm acceptance amid failure and crisis, re-affirming their own belief and trust in God when there seems to be darkness and defeat all around. They can explain the Catholic traditions of the past, for so many young people no longer understand them.

Above all they can be patient and persevering in prayer. Prayerfulness and “being prayer” can be their special mission in life. Let us remember that Moses, in his old age, lifted his arms in supplication to God as the people of Israel struggled with their enemies. His intercession touched the heart of God, the Scriptures tell us, and God gave his people victory over their foes (Ez 17:11-12). This is a wonderful image of the role of the elderly in the home and in the Church.

These thoughts about “grandparenting” are far from exhaustive. So much more can be said and I have only scratched the surface with these suggestions. I offer them as mere hints, on the noble role of grandfathering and grandmothering on the beautiful Christian mission of lolos and lolas in the Church.

THE AGED AND INFIRM

Before I end, let me cite some advice the Holy Father gave to elderly and sick people at a visit to a home for old people in Italy. I too want to leave a word with old people who are infirm. The Pope said to them:

In imitation of the venerable old saints mentioned in the bible, do not tire of punctuating your day with special moments of prayer. Pray for justice and solidarity between individuals and nations. Pray for peace in families and in the world. Entrust the needs and challenges of the new evangelization to the Lord. In this way you will be known that you are playing a leading role in the Church that you are truly apostles of the Gospel and builders of the Kingdom of God. What is often of little or no interest in human eyes, acquires great value before the Father who is in heaven.

As I end this letter, I want to bless the elderly in our families and communities. I want to embrace them and tell them how much the Lord and the Church value them as persons worthy of honor, esteem and love. I want them to remember how much they can still give, in spite of their weakness and their physical and even mental limitations — limitations which aging brings upon all. I also want to commend and bless those who are for the old, especially the aged and infirm. God has a special blessing for these “good samaritans”: may God reward you wonderfully!

Today, and all through this week, let us all “go out of our way” to show the aged and the elderly among us how much we cherish them and love them. This will bring blessings on them, and on us also.

As the month of October begins, let us turn to our Blessed Mother and commend to her intercession and her maternal love all the elderly people we know and love, and all the elderly people in our country.

Let us ask our Father in heaven to teach us to love and care for the aging and the old, and let us remember that sooner or later most of us will be numbered among them. May God be with us when that time comes, as we pray He may be with those who today are already in the evening of their lives.

God love you all!

Devotedly in Christ,

(Sgd.) + JAIME L. CARDINAL SIN, D.D.

Archbishop of Manila

Villa San Miguel

October 01, 1995